Evil always triumphs

Justice beware

The eternal snare

Of the chaos-order pair

In the dark demon's lair

Once Upon A Time

There was a girl named Alice,
With a terrible malice,
It really was one of a kind.

For she hated any thoughts
Of pans, tubs or pots
That entered her wayward mind.

Her tangled mangy mane
Drove everyone insane
For she refused to keep it in check..

For that would involve water
Which goes pitter-patter
From mugs, which she hated to heck.

'Twas a blasted pity
For she would have been quite pretty
If her hair wasn't such a mess

If only she shampooed twice
And cleared it of all the lice
I'd make crazy mad love to her, I confess.

Karma'ed

At times I find

The world is blind

To a host of my desires,

But the answer is clear

Those who are dear

Keep them close till the pyres.

To fight we must

For our love and lust

Till once more, reduced to dust

And returned to that lonesome mire.

Green Marbles and Ham

Red roses

Blue violets

Green ham

And omlettes

This world's a mess

Not that I care

But I've been given

Not truth, but dare.

Impromptu answers

Will mend not the hole

That grows and threatens

Above the south pole

And little green men

Will not magically fix

The problem with our trees

So fix up our ethics

It's not so hard

Just try and see

Learn to recycle

It's actually quite nifty

Don't drive to work,

Use a cycle instead

We all know you need to lose

A spare tyre of lead

And switch off those lights

As you leave each room

Don't forget! Reduce

And try not to consume.

Now my vision's all blurry

The migraine approaches

Environmental issues, it seems,

Sends me for sixes.

So heed my sacrifice

Don't let down your guard

Though it may be a pain

Lest our future be marred

Haikus Uncensored

You know those long, dreary Saturday nights on the weekend just before a quiz? This was one of them. I was in my room, studying hard(ly), but I decided to go online to do something more productive. What resulted was a 3-way conversation between the three nuttiest kooks in IITm - Sarthak Pathak, 1/6 , and Anoop V. It was too good a conversation to ignore, and I just had to blog this :D

Anoop Vargheese :  Searching for someone to share in the misery....

Nitin (One-by-Six) - What happened, da?(Is there poetry involved?)

Bindu Upadhyay - ??

Anoop Vargheese - What do you think?

(Hint: There's MugGiNG involved...)

(Another Hint: No, I haven't actually started yet.)

(Yet Another Hint: I actually want someone who can sit beside me with a newspaper in hand and hit me every time he sees me start snoring and/or mindlessly drooling over my books)

Sarthak P - There is always

a poem involved

Atleast a haiku

Nitin (One-by-Six) - That's not a haiku

Syllable count is wrong and

No season word. Fall.

Nitin (One-by-Six) - Wait a minute... :\ I thought you had robotics fundaes. Can't you make a simple bot for that? A newspaper whacking bot. You can call it the 'Sleepulator'. Geddit? 'Sleep-u-later'. Huh? Get it? [Poke] [Poke] [Poke] Or you can just call it the 'Mugmax3000'. Or 'Bob'.

I'm sorry. I'm a little high on ice-cream right now. I really shouldn't have a comp in front of me in a state like this. OOH... you can make it play just the first two lines of Chop Suey! ('Wake UP! (wake up)') over and over again every five minutes. That would work!

Sarthak P - BOB - Biological-cycle Oppressor Bot

Anoop Vargheese - Time to mug and ditch,

But I'd really rather not,

Flu Mech is a bitch.

Sarthak P - Haikus are very hard

to do because of numbers

Refrigerator

Sarthak P - this is my haiku

it's supposed to be funny

this is epic fail

Anoop Vargheese - Bots to wake me up?

Now there's a good idea.

But can it be done?

Bob might have trouble-

Chop Suey can short-circuit

Even the toughest.

Anoop Vargheese - ...

These are troubled times,

The Quizzes running rampant,

Wish I had a nuke.

Sarthak P - Bob bot! Bob bot! Bob?

Bob bot bet big belt by bat

but bob bot bit bat :|

Anoop Vargheese - Now Pot's lost it all,

The little sense that he had,

Here come the PJs.

Sarthak P - Hey listen people

I CALL FOR A HAIKU

CONTEST! COOL!

One-by-six dude

get in here fast man,really

you're missing out

Anoop Vargheese - ...

Pot you RG ass -

I need to study real bad,

You snake in the grass.

Anoop Vargheese - ...

But the harm's been done,

I cannot back down. Not now.

Let loose the hell hounds.

Sarthak P - No you cannot fold

the power,you cannot hold

of a haiku told

Anoop Vargheese - ...

Check your rhymes, Sarthak.

I feel the count slipping

On some of your odes

Nitin (One-by-Six) - HEY! Don't forget me!

I can make Haikus TOO, see?

(Nothing rhymed but PEE)

Sarthak P - ahh! now all fear!

The god of haikus is here

now it's in gear!

Anoop Vargheese - ..

Hey, One-by! That's cool!

Haiku rhymes? I feel a fool,

For missing out. Tool!

Nitin (One-by-Six) - [Facepalm] [facepalm] [face-

palm] [facepalm][facepalm][facepalm]

[facepalm] [facepalm] Ouch.

(5-7-5. It's right, right?)

Sarthak P - buffalo buffa-

-lo buffalo buffalo

buffalo buffalo dog!

Nitin (One-by-Six) - Llama Llama DUCK

Llama Llama Llama DUCK

Llama Llama DUCK

Anoop Vargheese - Sarthak! How could you?

You pulled in the Otaku?

Pi Gamma Mu!

Sarthak P - a headless horseman

sits atop a big trapeze

slowly passing gas

Anoop Vargheese - .

^Lawl. Rofl. Hehe!

Sarthak, that's pure genius.

Now go die, RG!

Anoop Vargheese - .

I must go, you see.

For the quizzes still haunt me.

I'm logging out. Bye! :D

Sarthak P - hey come on guys

This did not even reach 100

comments,it should have

Nitin (One-by-Six) - 'Slowly passing gas'

Heh... Laughed my buttocks RIGHT off,

I did. I want more!

Right... So where were we?

Oh yeah! Bob! Make one for me!

(RG the Zombie!)

Nitin (One-by-Six) - Irresistible

is the call of the haiku

Damned addictive, too!

Anoop Vargheese - Dammit! I still can't,

Where is my Bob? I can't wait.

Logging out is hard.

Anoop Vargheese - .

Damn you two. Little twerps.

The Haiku calls. Calling. Called.

Can't I mug in peace?

Anoop Vargheese - .

Besides the quizzes,

George Orwell must I present

For Lit. and Values.

250 pages-

That's how much I have to read.

Short story my ass.

Nitin (One-by-Six) - But seriously

All we used to do, was to

Get an alarm clock

I'd set it on snooze,

and once every five minutes

It would wake me up.

Wait... no. That plan cupped.

All it did was immunize

Me to all the noise.

Nitin (One-by-Six) - George?! I LOVE that guy!

What are you reading? Essay?

Animal farm? What?

Anoop Vargheese - .

1984.

She called it a "short" story.

Want: Dictionary.

Sarthak P - Oh so cool man!

so the contest continues

and sleep is gone

Nitin (One-by-Six) - I'm reading that NOW!

(Actually, it's on pause.)

But STILL. Your course rocks.

Pfft. Seriously.

FUCK E.D. You read stuff and

You get MARKS for that?!

Sarthak P - I am working on

the world's funniest haiku

it's not working out

Sarthak P - Make haikus for hours

Stare at the screen with red eyes

it's time for class

Sarthak P - okay I am taking

a small break here,I will

return in some time

Akand Toshhhhhh - WTF?? awesome thread :)

Sarthak P - :D :D :D :D :D

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D

:D :D :D :D :D

Nitin (One-by-Six) - Hold on... how many

Syllables is a smiley?

Oh well. I vote 'none'.

Anoop Vargheese - .

Well, this thread was fun,

But I must beat temptation.
So good night, y'all!

The Cloud

The Prof puts forth

Great steam and noise

Frothing and foaming into a looming cloud

Of Nothingness

That wallows gently past,

As I watch, and wave.

Cryogenesis

Well, the other day on the occasion of Swami Vivekananda's birthday, the honourable Dr. A P J Abdul Kalam was to grace our institute with his presence. However, due to his "prior arrangements", he came almost two hours late. Seeing as I had time to waste, I wrote this little ode:

The hall is big, enormous, huge,

Full, but empty of Him,

Scanned time and again for subterfuge,

We wait, our thoughts go dim.

An air-conditioned room, I'll admit, is nice,

But it's kinda lost its charm, after

Two hours of slowly turning to ice -

A true Bond recipe for disaster.

They say he's comin' in by 'copter

A white-maned crusader of Creativity and Power,

But I wonder, can we present him the silver platter

When just to thaw our hands would require heat nuclear?

Time and again our hopes were raised,

For widespread applause rang through the hall;

'Twas but a false alarm. Him be flayed,

That damned little devil that started it all.

Sure he's a master - of rocketry and space -

And has, to his credit, a hundred odd crafts,

But now he's engineered an engine no other could replace -

A cryogenic type, of frozen human sculpts!

Hmmm... well, by this point our ex-president arrived and I never got to finish the epic. Never could pick up the rhythm later. Oh well, on to better insanities. :)

-----

"Run! The zombies are coming!"

March of the Red Pants Brigade

Six rabbits walking side by side,

Chests high, hearts full of pride,

Jackets, filled to the brim inside,

With carbines and Uzis, and some cyanide.

To stick to the schedule they take the train,

The hour-long journey - always a pain,

Soon will they start this unholy campaign,

As one breaks out in brassy refrain:

"Six rabbits are we, out after glory,

Looking out to make our very own story,

A half dozen recruits, all white and fluffy,

To show the world a memento mori."

Now did they arrive at a station gigantic,

Pedestrians aloof, bustling frantic,

Rabbit One announced, "Listen up fellow manics,

For 'tis time to set up a panic!"

The jackets were thrown, the weapons brandished,

The air was set afire with bullets lavished,

Rabbit Two calls out to those visibly anguished,

"All hear, thee knaves! We declare thee vanquished!"

Now for R Four's chance to speak,

"Us rabbits you may think us lowly and weak,

Cuddly and cute, lacking physique,

But you have wronged us this last time, you sneaks!

For we refuse to eat any more of that disgusting leek!"

Hostages were rounded into a herd,

Of the men present, they chose roughly a third,

The rest, their protests to long cuddly ears unheard,

Silenced in a  quiet spot, and fed to the birds.

For the surviving victims, they had other plans,

All made to wear some ghastly red pants,

Stuffed in the nearby call-taxi minivans,

Fastrack never had such a large collection of fans.

Shipped off to the TV station, where R Six had gone ahead,

And neutralized any opposition by feeding them lead,

Shoved into the studio, where the news was being read,

"Showcase these embarrassments to the world!", he said.

The Six O'clock news that day was quite scary,

An entire nation, aghast at such fashion so dreary,

For each, in his own blood red ferrari,

Was a sight to see. Oh! How eerie!

Finally did number Five, as leader of the troupe,

Speak out on national telly, with a big whoop,

"Fear us, puny humans. We set up this coup,

And can take you all out with one fell swoop."

His bloodshot eyes raced across the screen as he continued on,

"Now you shall listen you us, all you hell spawn.

For years have we faced humiliation and defeat.

Are we meant to be cuddled? I think not, you pieces of meat!"

"Now be wary of us, we have the ultimate weapon,

These red pants, the devils do they beckon.

The source of your power is fashion, we reckon

With threat of these pants, your loyalties you will question."

"So submit to our will, we won't put you in a cage,

Like you did to us, we're much more like a sage,

Though opposing our faction will earn you our rage…"

That's when the SWAT team broke into the stage.

For the next ten minutes, on live TV was shown,

A gruesome firefight, the likes never known,

Smoke from all sides, as the usurpers lost their newfound throne,

A cuddly white rabbit corpse, across the screen was blown.

A week later, in the President's official address,

"Fear not, my people. The issue has been regressed,

The rabbits are now honored citizens, made into the noblesse,

But I'd caution you to watch out when you next see them nevertheless."

A Lost Ride

The winds blow high,

And sweep our bleak, deserted stations dry.

An ancient ritual has begun,

A forbidden taboo not to be sung,

For upon a moonlit plain there lies,

A lone cycle, as I raise a bitter cry.

Twice now, as I have gazed,

My cycle, leaving me utterly fazed,

Has left be behind, and yet again,

I have to question what is preordained.

A year past, this had happened once,

A feeble lock, weak to the pounce,

Gave way to the Lurker, waiting in the shadows,

Dragged off to Neverland, I let loose my arrows.

Upon borrowed cycle, I queried the streets,

High and low, finally in bitter defeat.

But lo! For there it was!

Outside sinister Tapti. An early  gift from Clause.

Now a rerun, I tire of this, whereupon,

Yet again have I run the marathon.

Now I give, for history does not repeat,

Again will I find it? My luck is deplete.

So I turn to you now, help me out here a little?

Keep your eyes open, and answer my riddle -

For what Red has two wheels, a rusted bell,

An Axn Dx, with "Turbodrive" pommell?

Branded upon it side, my name,

Anoop V, in faded letters of fame,

A number to further open the door:

NA09B004.

Find it you must, my legs plead,

For a kilometre they cannot, so godspeed,

Treats in plenty I will put,

So get out there, the race is afoot!